Us band people are a funny bunch...
how many of these pictures make you laugh!? :)
The following band jokes were created by band members...
Remember, we're all just one big happy family, so it's easy to laugh at ourselves!
Band Director Jokes...
Q: How many conductors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but then again, who's really watching?
Q: What do you do with someone who can't handle 2 drum sticks?
A: Take away one of the sticks and make them a conductor!
Things You'll Never Hear a Band Director Say to Students...
"Drums, could you play louder please?"
"Let me just tell you how the music goes."
"You all are practicing too much!"
"Who wants gum?"
Q: What's the difference between a clarinet and a mouse?
A: You can't hear a mouse squeak over the entire band!
Q: How many clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but they'll go through a whole box before they find the right one!
Q: Why was the clarinet invented?
A: To ensure that there will always be someone to steal reeds from.
Q: How are a saxophone player and a blind javelin thrower alike?
A: Both command immediate attention and alarm, and force everyone to move out of the way.
Q: What do a lawsuit and a saxophone have in common?
A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
Q: How are a saxophone and a guillotine similar?
A: They are both lethal, always sharp, and work best when dropped from high places.
Q: What did little boy's mother tell him when he said "I want to be a trumpet player when I grow up"?
A: "Sorry honey, you can't do both."
Q: What is the range of a trumpet?
A: About 35 yards if you chuck it really hard.
Q: How do you get a trumpet player to play softly?
A: Take away their instrument.
Q: How can you make a trombone sound like a French horn?
A: Stick your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.
Q: How many French horn players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, but they'll spend two hours checking it for alignment and leaks.
Q: What's a similarity between playing a French horn and wetting your pants?
A: Both give you a warm happy feeling.
Q: How can you tell that a kid on a playground is a trombonist?
A: They only use the slide.
Q: How many trombone players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he'll spend half an hour trying to figure out what position it needs to be in.
Q: How do you get a trombone player to stop playing?
A: Give them a piece of music.